Little girl, watching her reflection
As she parts her curls into four sections
She says, ‘I don’t look like them, I don’t look like her
and I don’t want what’s on my head’
But baby girl don’t be mislead.
Relaxed Hair – 2013
At this point in time my hair was fried; I’ll be honest. The crazy thing is, I didn’t even know it. I was blind to the fact I was destroying my hair to fit European beauty standards. With every pass of a flat-iron and damaging relaxer, I was demolishing my natural curl pattern. Erasing genetic blessings. Preventing growth, luster, and bounce; all to be apart of a beauty a standard. I was spending money to be like someone else while destroying myself. Distant from the true definition a beauty; loving myself and all that I come with. My natural hair was beautiful; but I couldn’t see it yet.
As time passed, the curly hair trend began running it’s course. Celebrities like Christina Milian played as the pretty girl in movies. I saw the look and loved it! So I hopped on the trend too (barely). I further began manipulating my locs to resemble other girls. I used flexi rods, curlers, and curling irons to achieve a curl pattern. Still blind to the beauty I had previously damaged.
Embracing My Own Beauty – 2014
When was I going to stop ignoring my own beauty by manipulating my hair to look like someone else’s? It took a salon disaster and all of my hair nearly falling out for me to make a change. I knew I couldn’t use any more chemicals nor heat; or my hair would never reach health. I decided to go natural.
The Transition – 2015
I refused to do the big chop and be left left with extremely short hair, so I held on to my length. I worked with two different hair patterns; my new growth and my dead ends. There were only few hairstyle suitable; buns, braids, twist outs, and flexi rods.
Thank God for YouTube and Pinterest because ya girl was lost. I dedicated my free time to watching tutorials of natural hair. Searching for ways to make hair grow, tips for transitioning hair, products for natural hair, and tips for getting rid of a relaxer. At this point I wasn’t aware that the only way to get rid of dead hair was to cut it off! Still, I followed different regimens like oiling my scalp nightly, using natural hair products, and the inversion method. To my surprise, I began seeing growth!
How I Transitioned
- Oiling scalp nightly with castor oil and olive oil
- Using ONLY natural hair products (parabean free, alchohol free, sulfate free, natural ingredients etc.)
- Using protective styles (BUNS, braids, twist etc.)
- Drinking a TON of water
- Taking vitamins
- HYDRATING then MOISTURIZING (hydrating is using water or water based product; moisturizing is sealing the hydration in with an oil or butter)
- Satin scarf /satin pillow case while sleeping
- Deep conditioning once a week
- Continuing to learn about natural hair
The BIG CHOP – 2015
After my new growth reach a desirable length I decided to finally let those dead ends go. I finally had the strength to cut my hair. Not so much the big chop, but a medium chop. After the cut, this new hair texture was so new to me. My hair had been relaxed for the past 7 years. I like to refer to this time period as trial and error. Little did I know there was so much more to learn about natural hair. The thing is, everyone’s natural hair is completely different. What works for someone else, might be horrible for the next person. I sampled different regimens to figure out what would work best for me. I tried out deep conditioners, various combs/brushes, leave in conditioners, smoothies, gels, and oils. Then, I tried different techniques like finger detangling, shingling, air drying, and defusing. Not to mention, I had to figure out what order to perform these regimens and how often. Natural hair is a full time job and was just now realizing this.
Bleaching My Hair – 2016
My hair had grown so much in the past year; I was so content with how well I was taking care of it. Then, college happened. Seeking attention from the wrong crowd; I searched for a way to stand out. My hair seemed so plain and well… natural. So I went for purple hair. I assumed my hair was healthy enough to withstand the change and proceeded with bleaching and dying my hair. Immediately after washing the dye out I noticed a difference. My hair was almost lifeless; lacking bounce with the texture of straw. The bleached hair was thinner and limper than my roots. I also noticed some of the ends were straight and my curls were much looser.
As time went on I nourished my hair to as much strength as I could with frequent hot oil treatments and deep conditions. For a while, I was happy with my looser curl pattern; it was longer and looked more “mixed”. I still wasn’t understanding the concept of going natural. It wasn’t just about having curly hair, it’s about having NATURAL hair. Accepting and loving the hair that natural grows from the roots of my head.
Cutting My Hair – 2017
Because I was still trying to manipulate my hair to look and be like someone else’s, I had to start over. My curls no longer bounced back when I brushed them and my ends were bone straight when wet. That’s the most obvious sign of unhealthy hair. I realized the bleach was still considered a chemical that damaged the natural curl pattern of my hair. The purple had to GO. After the cut I was finally myself again; I sampled a taste of freedom to say the least. I realized, hair grows back. Letting go of those dead ends symbolized me letting go of old parts of myself. Releasing old beliefs and ideas about my hair. It was time to start fresh and welcome a new me.
Maintaining Healthy Hair- 2017
After two rounds of damaging my hair I finally understood and applied the true concept of natural hair to my life. I learned more about my hair including: my curl pattern, the porosity, and the dedication to taking care of it. I began to fall in love with my luscious locs. I understood the history, the meaning, the time, and energy it needed. I loved it and it loved me back. I gained an understanding of what my hair liked and my hair needed; trying some amazing products along the way. I also researched continuously and found out my ancestors used gifts from the earth to grow long and beautiful hair. Before products, women made their own hair care. I began to understand my roots and borrowed natural beauty remedies that weren’t passed down. I still loved my go to products, but I also wanted to nourish my hair with energy rich plants too.
My hair type: 3C, 4A
Routine: pre-poo with oil, shampoo, condition, detangle, deep condition (1 hour with heat), leave in conditioner, smoothie or gel , oil, and air dry. Repeat 1X per week and oil scalp 5-7X per week.
- Carol’s Daughter Black Vanilla Leave in Contioner
- Shea Moisture Manuka Honey Masque
- Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
- Shea Moisture Super Fruit Complex (THE WHOLE LINE)
- Maui Moisture Coconut Oil Curl Quench Smoothie
- Shea Moisture Amla Oil
Favorite Natural Plants/Seeds
- Avocado (deep condition)
- Raw Unfiltered Honey (deep condition)
- Aloe Vera Plant (deep condition)
- Bananas (deep condition
- Flax Seed (gel)
- Fenugreek (spray)
- Almond oil
- Coconut Oil
- Olive oil
- Shea Butter
- Mango Butter
- Argan Oil
- Jamican black Castor Oil
- Rosemary essential oil
- Peppermint essential oil
Loving My Natural Hair – 2018
Natural hair is not just wanting bouncy curls, or an afro, and any other form of vanity. Natural is hair is more than what’s on the outside, its’ whats on the inside. My natural hair journey was apart of my journey of self-love. In fact it was the first step in my journey. Going and staying natural was the first step in loving my true self. This first step lead to a lifelong journey of continuously finding love deeper within myself. This was the start of my journey of self-love. Despite how long it took for me to get there, I finally stopped comparing my hair to others. I finally began loving myself as is. Loving the natural tresses that grew from my head. Not dyeing it another color or stretching the curls but loving it in its most natural form.
It helped to compare my hair to a plant. When it is not rooted, watered, nourished, and loved it does not grow. When it is, the beauty it will show. When you speak kind words to plants, they grow faster. Our hair is the same. Speak kind words to your hair; tell it you love it, you appreciate it, and you accept it. Our hair must be nourished from inside out in order for it to reach it’s full potential.
Nothing beautiful passes the journey to get there. The physical is the last manifestation. Start from within by loving YOUR hair and feeding it what it craves. Put kind words, intentions, and goddess energy into it. Then, beauty will make its way. Anything beautiful on the outside is directly connected to something inside we can’t see. I believe our hair is a representation of our love for ourselves and our divine crown chakra. We’re all flowers and our locs are the petals; let them grow. Free your mind and free your hair.
HERE – is a link to my Pinterest page on hair care! More recipes!
If this blog was helpful or you have more questions about your hair journey feel free to submit a comment! I would love to help!